To be the Monkey Wrench

Over the past few days I have found myself becoming more and more uncertain about my position at Peppy Kids Club. After the incident with the child breaking her toe, I also managed to misread my lesson time and arrived 25 minutes past my check in time. I had enough time to prepare for class, and great the kids, but I doubt the company will be very pleased with my recent performance. This adds a lot of stress to me since the company can fire me at any time for the first three months of my employment.

The odd things is that even if I do survive this, I'm not sure if I fit in with this company. Like any large company (be it western or Japanese) it really seems like every person must become a cog in the machine. At this moment it is unclear to me whether I am capable of becoming a cog. With faxing paperwork, filling out forms, and calling in to head office for my personal "attendance check" I am quickly seeing how incapable I am at such things. I don't know if I'm like this because I'm a free spirit or because I'm just lazy/stupid.

That being said, it's not that I don't want boundaries put on me. I would appreciate having them since I tend to forget my own. Its more like I don't want to be told what to do within those boundaries. I do things my way. I don't refuse to do things other people's way because I don't agree with them. I am just incapable because they are hard for me to wrap my head around and practice. Perhaps it would be better if I transfered to a smaller company or eikaiwa. Perhaps later in life I should strive to own a small business and be my own boss. These are all questions for a later time of course.

As promised, here is a picture of my awesome bike. And before you ask; no, it is not a girl's bike (almost all bikes are unisex here).